Lost Love Found
by Nathan's Manna
Summary: PJ What lengths will Pacey and Joey go through to be together.
1. Prologue

Lost Love Found

By: Manna

**Disclaimer**: None of the characters belong to me.  
**Author's Notes**: I started this story at the beginning of Season 4, when Pacey and Joey were still going strong. I had no idea where the writers would take us, and I don't know where they're gonna end it. Just so you know, Eddie, Charlie, and Audrey never existed, and Dawson & Joey didn't sleep together until much later. Please send me feedback…let me know what you think.

Prologue

August 2001

The phone rang, and on the second ring, Bessie answered, "Potter Bed & Breakfast…"

"Bessie, you have to come get me. I can't be here. Please," Joey was crying.

"Slow down Jo. Tell me what's wrong."

"He's here."

"Who's where?"

"Pacey, he's here."

Bessie suddenly saw the whole picture, "He's there, at Worthington? As a student?"

"He might as well be. He's here in Boston, and I think he's working for the dean."

"Have you talked to him?"

"NO! What would I say, 'Hey remember me? I'm the one that you dumped, and didn't tell that you were leaving. Now what are you doing at my school?' I don't think so."

"Ok, sorry that I asked. You've seen him, has he seen you?"

"I don't know Bessie. But it's not like he doesn't know that I'm here."

"That's true Jo. But maybe you're the reason that he is there."

"Right Bessie. That's it. I don't think so, remember, HE broke up with ME."

"Yes, but you've been apart all summer little sis. Maybe he's realized that he screwed up and wants to make things right."

"I can't handle this Bess. I can't handle rejection again. It will positively kill me."

"I'm not coming to get you, no matter how much you whine. You need to talk to him. Otherwise you'll be running from Pacey Witter for the rest of your life."

"Fine, I'll talk to him. But I'll have you know that I'm not happy about this."

"When are you ever?"

"Goodnight Bessie."

"Goodnight and good luck Jo."

"Thanks, I'll need it."

The next afternoon, Joey sat in her room trying to relax. She'd been on edge all day and hadn't slept well the night before. And of course she'd had a day full of classes, and she'd been unable to concentrate during any of them. All she could think about was how to approach Pacey and what to say to him, yet she still had no idea. Just then she heard a knock at the door and yelled, "It's open!" She could use a visitor, anything to get her mind off of Pacey. She watched as the door eased open, and wondered who it could possibly be. Then she saw him, "Pacey," her heart began to beat faster.

"What are you doing here? Wait, how did you know where I live?" she asked with a tone of anger.

"I have connections."

"Whatever, what are you doing here," her voice was stern now.

"Can't an old friend just stop by and say hi?"

"Not if that friend is you, no."

"But I suppose Dawson would be welcome."

"Don't start that Pacey. He and I are history – have been since before us."

"Were you really?"

"Pacey. I'm not going to go through this with you again. Change the subject NOW…or leave. I know you Pacey…you want something."

"Do you? Know me that is."

"I thought I did once. But then you ran away after breaking my heart without as much as a goodbye. So, you must want something, after ignoring all of my attempts at communication during the last three months."

"You're right Jo. I do want something. I want to apologize."

"Wow, that's gotta be a first," Joey noticed the glare that Pacey gave her, "Fine, I'm listening."

"I'm sorry that I ever hurt you Joey. I never meant to do that. I realized over the summer just how stupid I had been. I should have told you that I was leaving. There are a lot of things that I should have done, but didn't, and I apologize."

Joey glared at him, her arms crossed over her chest, "Do you think that because you apologized, everything will fine between us again?"

"Not at all, but I'm hoping that it was a step in the right direction."

"It was a start Witter, but you still have a long way to go."

"I want to try if you'll let me."

"We'll see," deep inside, Joey couldn't be happier. She longed to have him back in her life.

December 2001

Joey drove the fifteen minutes to Pacey's apartment, and thinking about the conversation from coffee that evening, hoped that he wouldn't be mad at her when she told him of her plan.

_Joey looked around the table at her three closest friends. Despite the drastic turns that each of them had encountered during their first semester of college, she had remained close with Jen, Jack, and Dawson. They had made a pact to get together every Tuesday, just for a break from the normal stress and hassles of college life. They also vowed that nothing would separate them. Andie was still in Europe, so Pacey was the only one missing. Every couple of weeks someone would ask about him – yeah, like anyone would keep a secret about knowing where he was. At least that's what the others thought. Little did they know that she'd been back with Pacey since the middle of September. It was killing her to keep this secret from them, but Pacey had made her promise. No matter how much she told him that they really wanted to know how he was doing._

_The conversation had been the usual, Jack talking about Tobey, and then Jen changed the subject talking about some cute guy she'd seen at lunch. Then there was Dawson blabbing first about his newest project. Then there was the subject that had her worked up the most. _

_Dawson said, "Hey, what does everyone have planned for Christmas Break?"_

_Jen said, "Well, besides spending quality time with Grams and working, not much."_

_Jack smiled before answering, "I'm going to spend a week with Tobey before going to see Andie."_

_The three of them had then looked at Joey, "I really haven't thought about it." She knew that it was a blatant lie. She wanted to spend as much time with Pacey as possible, but she couldn't tell them that._

_Dawson then said, "Well, mom called me just before I left to make sure that I remembered to invite you to the Annual Leery Christmas Party. And anyone who wants to stay at the house in more than welcome."_

_Jen grinned, "How could I say no to an offer like that? You can count on me."_

_She looked at Jack, "Of course I'll be there."_

_Once again all eyes were on Joey. She shrugged her shoulders, "That sounds like a good idea. Besides, Bessie would love to see me."_

_What Dawson had said next caught her off guard, "Do you think that Pacey might surface in Capeside over break?" Dawson and Pacey had begun to mend their ways before Pacey disappeared. In fact, Dawson had been the last person to talk to Pacey, surprisingly enough. And in the few months since coming to college, Dawson had come to the realization that Joey would probably never be his. That she truly did love Pacey. He could tell by the glazed look she got whenever they talked about him. But, he still had hope for one day._

_Jen then said, "Yeah, it would be great to see him, and find out what he's been up to."_

_Joey wanted to scream out, "Pacey's great! I go home to him almost every night!"_

_Jack chimed in, "Ok, I'll ask the question, has anyone talked to Pacey?"_

_Again she wanted to yell, "I talked to him a few hours ago." Joey hated lying to them, but she just couldn't change Pacey's mind._

Joey now found herself outside of Pacey's apartment. She walked up to the door, and not bothering to knock, just let herself in. The living room and kitchen were both empty, so she figure he was already in bed. After changing in the bathroom, she quietly crept into the bedroom and crawled into bed next to him.

Pacey flipped on the lamp next to the bed, "I was wondering when you would get here."

Joey gave him a quick kiss, "Everyone seemed extra chatty tonight."

"What about?" Even though Pacey wasn't sure that he was ready to face all of his friends, whom he had hurt in the past as well, he enjoyed hearing about their lives.

"Mainly about Christmas Break. It's only two weeks away. Jen's hanging with Grams, Jack's splitting his time between Tobey and Andie, and Dawson's going home."

"And what are your plans?" Pacey realized that they really hadn't talked much about it. Although he hoped that she'd want to spend it with him.

"Um, yeah, about that. I'm thinking about going home." She saw the look that he gave her, "I know, but Bessie's been begging me to come. And she realizes that I want to spend my time with you, so she wants you to come to. She wants to see you as much as everyone else does. Although, at least she knows where you are. She even said that she ran into Doug and he misses you."

"I don't want to go back there. I'll just stay here."

"You don't even want to go just so that you can be with me."

"Sorry."

"Well, there's something else too. I kinda told Dawson that I'd go to Gale's annual party. Please don't be mad at me," she grimaced. "But Dawson asked if we thought you might show up in Capeside over break. So I want you to go. We don't even have to show up together if you don't want to. But we'll defiantly be together AND tell everyone before the thing's over."

"I don't know Jo."

"Come on Pace. We can't keep this a secret forever. And I don't want to keep it a secret. Even my roommate is beginning to wonder with whom I spend many my nights. I'm lucky that she hasn't mentioned my male "friend" to the others when they call. And you have to admit, it seems like a great way for you to enter into their lives again."

"Don't you think that it will come as quite a surprise to everyone. And what are they, namely Jen, Jack, & Dawson, going to think about the fact that you've been lying to them?"

"It hasn't been by choice. But I don't care what any of them think. I know what you're thinking…and no, I don't care what Dawson thinks either. And don't you dare try to make this about him either, because it isn't and you know it."

"I know Jo, I'm sorry. Let's not fight about this. I promise that I'll think about it. It's getting late, and you have an early class," Pacey leaned over and flipped off the light.

Joey cuddled up next to Pacey, "Don't think that this conversation is over mister."

"I know, I know," Pacey kissed her gently before fading off to sleep.

December 14, 2001

Pacey stood in the doorway, "Hurry up Potter! I'm ready to go."

"Hold on Mr. Impatient. You sure are in a hurry, for someone who didn't want to go in the first place."

"Yeah, well that was before I was promised one of Bodie's mouthwatering dinners."

"Ahh, so you're just going for the food?"

"Yup, pretty much. Oh yeah, and there's this girl," he grinned at her.

"Do I know her?"

"Nah, I don't think so. Are you ready yet?"

"Hold on. I have to grab one last thing," she dug through her closet until she found it – her gift for Pacey, and shoved it her already bulging suitcase. "Okay, I'm ready now."

"It's about time," Pacey grinned before pulling her towards him for a kiss.

The ride home was spent in a comfortable silence. But Joey was glad that she had finally, after much begging, convinced him to come home with her. The party would be the next night, so they only had to keep Pacey hidden for one day, and they figured that to be a pretty simple task, as long as she kept everyone away from the B&B until then. They had decided that Joey would arrive at the party with Bessie, Bodie and Alexander, and that Pacey would show up later, unannounced. She was so excited that she'd finally be able to tell everyone that she was with Pacey.

Bessie watched as Pacey and Joey pulled up to the B&B. She was so happy to see them.

December 15, 2001

With her back to the door, Joey stood talking to Gale, along with Jack, Jen, and Dawson about various happenings in Capeside. Gale seemed distracted suddenly, and tapped Dawson on the shoulder and pointed to the front door. Dawson looked towards the door where his mother was pointing, and curious, Jack and Jen did the same. Joey didn't have to turn around to know what, or rather whom they were staring at. She knew that it could only be Pacey. The looks on the faces of her friends were first that of surprise and shock, but quickly turned to that of excitement.

Jen was the first to react, "Pacey!" And ran to him, embracing him in a giant hug, "It's so good to see you!"

Joey found it hard to pretend to be in a state of shock. She had to grin. She was so glad that everyone was responding so well to his presence.

"It's good to see you too Lindley," she let go of him, then Pacey reached out to shake the hands with the approaching Jack and Dawson, "Jack, Dawson, it's great to see you both."

Surprising Pacey, Dawson pulled him in for a hug, "I've really missed you Pacey."

Lastly he looked at Joey, who approached him with a hug, "I've missed you Potter."

"I've missed you too Pacey," she held onto him as long as possible. She let go and said, "It's about time that you show your sorry butt. Where've you been hiding?"

Pacey smiled, "I've been around. In Boston mostly."

"Really, that's where we've all been as well. You could have gotten in touch with us."

"Yeah man. We meet every Tuesday and would've loved to see you there," Dawson chimed in.

"Thanks D. But I've been trying to find where I belong and get settled in."

Dawson and Jack led Pacey off to talk about 'guy things' – which Joey knew to be girls, and how many he's had since leaving.

Jen, knowing that Joey had long ago forgiven Pacey in her heart, approached her, curious of her reaction to his return. "So, Pacey's back."

Joey grinned, "That he is."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"It really makes no difference to me, why should it?"

"Joey, don't lie to me. I know that you still have feelings for him."

"Sure, it's nice to know that he's safe."

"Come on, you can tell me the truth."

"Jen, seeing Pacey still makes me all tingly inside. Even just the thought of him."

"Do you want him back?"

"Jen… oh nevermind."

"Do you have something more to tell me about your feelings four our friend Mr. Witter? You still want to jump his bones, don't you?"

"Jen! That's not it at all. Okay, well maybe a little."

"Do tell."

"Jen, you have to promise not to tell a soul."

"Come on Joey. You should know by now that you can trust me."

"I know Jen, but please."

"Okay, I promise, I won't tell a soul. Now dish."

"Well, you're right, I still have feelings for Pacey, and in the most intense way."

"I knew it."

"Oh, there's more. I well, um,"

"Ohmigod! He's staying at the B&B, and you're sleeping with him, aren't you. And you didn't tell us that he was here, you sneak. What did he say to you to let him in so quickly?"

"You've got me there. He is staying at the B&B, and he's sleeping in my bed," Joey didn't know how to spit it out.

"I feel a but coming on here," Jen searched Joey's eyes questioning.

"But I didn't let him in quickly. It took me a good month to let him get close to me again."

"You've known his whereabouts for a month and didn't tell us?" Jen grinned slyly.

"Something like that. He's been back in my life since school started in August."

"And you didn't tell us!" Now Jen seemed to be a little angry.

"I wanted to, I really did. But Pacey didn't want me to."

"And I suppose that's why you're never in your room, and the real reason that you told us to call you on your cell phone."

"You've got me there. I'm sorry, I really am."

"I guess it explains a lot though."

"How so?" Joey was confused.

"Come on Joey. I spent all summer with you, and you weren't always the most pleasant person to be around. Always so mopey. But since school started, you've been happy. And in the time I've known you, the only time that you've been this happy was with Pacey. I guess I had ideas that there was a guy, but not this guy. And, another change from this summer was that, when we mention his name, you never got depressed."

"It killed me not to tell you guys, it really did."

"Despite past history, I believe you."

"Hey, I told YOU then."

"Yeah, I know. I do have a question for you."

"Just one?"

"Well, the others can wait. Why didn't Pacey want the rest of us to know where he was?"

"Honestly, I don't know for sure. Believe me, I've thought about that too. I think that because everything ended so badly, he wanted to ease back into things. Just like the rest of us, he came to Boston looking for a change. But I think he wanted to set up his new life without the pressures of everyone that knew him before."

"But the whole semester? He had to know that we were a part of you life. Yet he didn't need us to be a part of his anymore?"

"I don't know what he was waiting for, but he asked about all of you. I go there after leaving you guys on Tuesdays, and sometimes we'd stay up for hours talking about everything the three of you talked about."

"So he was living life through you."

"Yeah, pretty much. But I finally convinced him to come tonight."

"So, he sat in your room last night while you were here watching movies. And then tonight, he let you come with your family and showed up later."

"Well, last night he spent quality time with my family. But, yeah, we agreed that it wouldn't be the best for us to show up to either place together. Or for him to just show up last night. Tonight it would be more 'natural'."

"When are you going to tell everyone else?"

"Before tonight is over."

"Who's going to tell Dawson?"

"Me."

"Are you actually going to this time?"

"Yeah. This time I know that Dawson and I have no further romantic connections. How do you think he'll take it?"

"Actually, I think he'll take it pretty well. We talked about it once."

"You did?"

"I knew that you still had feelings for Pacey, so I confronted Dawson, and he could actually see it too. He said that he may pout, but he won't be an ass like last time."

"Who do you think should tell Dawson?"

"My guess is that now that he knows Pacey has been in Boston this whole time, his mind is full of ideas. I think that you should both tell him."

"Then we will."

"I wonder how their conversation is going."

"I dunno. Although I'm sure that they're talking about three things – sex, sports, and movies."

Pacey looked at Joey over his shoulder as Jack and Dawson led him away from her. He knew that Dawson didn't want to ask in front of Joey, but was dying to hear about all of the women he'd slept with since leaving. Dawson had always had this idea that Pacey was a womanizer, but he really wasn't.

Dawson was the first to speak, "Welcome back Pacey."

"We've truly missed you man," Jack grinned, "It's been a lot more quiet. Joey hasn't had anyone to argue and squabble with," as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted it, "I'm sorry man. I didn't mean to bring up a touchy subject."

Pacey waved his hands, "It's no big deal, really."

"So what have you been up to?" Dawson inquired.

"Not much really. Basically just working to pay the rent."

Jack smiled, "What our buddy Dawson really wanted know is, how many girls have you been with since we last saw you?"

Pacey grinned thinking of Joey, "Actually there have only been two. A brief fling on the boat this summer, and the beauty that I'm with now."

"Things are pretty serious?" Dawson knew of Joey's feelings, and didn't want her to be crushed.

"Yeah, we're getting there."

"And you didn't bring her along?"

"Nah, I didn't want to surprise you too much at once," he could help but think that there were still some surprises to come.

"But once we're back in Boston?"

"Sure thing buddy."

They talked a bit more before Dawson said, "I should probably go mingle," and went in search of Joey. He wanted to prepare her for the news that Pacey was in a relationship.

Once Dawson had disappeared, Jack looked at Pacey, "So tell me the truth. What's it like to see Joey again?"

"The truth? She stirs me up inside. I never really stopped loving her."

"Is she the reason that you're only _getting_ towards serious? You just had to see her again."

"Actually, no."

"I thought so."

"Thought what?"

"You two are dating, aren't you. You and Joey that is."

Pacey was astonished, "How did you know?"

"I'm brilliant. What else can I say. But really, look at the facts. She still gets you all hot and bothers, yet she's not keeping you from wondering what if. And you have to admit, your hug was extra friendly for two people that haven't seen each other in more than 6 months, and ended with a nasty break-up. And, you're in Boston of all places."

"Actually, being in Boston just happened. But I took advantage of that."

"I had a suspicion that she was seeing someone. And you're the only person that makes her this happy."

"That's the idea."

"I um, I also followed her one Tuesday night, and saw you greet her at the door."

"So how long have you known?"

"Only since just before Thanksgiving. I figured that she'd tell us when you guys were ready. But, you DO know that if you hurt her again, you're dead, right?"

"I assumed as much."

"When are you going to tell Dawson?"

"Later tonight. She's probably telling Jen now."

"Good luck."

"Thanks"

Dawson approached Joey, "Hey, can I talk to you quick?"

"Yeah, sure," she smiled faintly at Jen. They both had a good feeling that this would be about Pacey.

"Joey, I've accepted the fact that you still love Pacey, but there's something I think you should know. Pacey's in a semi-serious relationship."

"Really, thanks for the heads-up, but he has every right to have his own life."

"I know, but I didn't want to see you get your hopes up, now that he's here, and be crushed when he goes back to her."

"Thank you Dawson," she gave him a hug, "I appreciate it, and I promise that I'll be careful."

After a few hours, Dawson, Jen, Jack, Joey, and Pacey were basically the only ones left at the party, and sat around the table talking about whatever came to mind. In an effort to drop Dawson hints, Jack and Jen kept asking questions about Pacey's girlfriend, and Pacey answered flattering her, and Joey would blush. Finally, Jack and Jen (who were both spending the night with Dawson) said that they were going to bed, and left the Three Musketeers alone.

Dawson looked at Pacey, "So where are you staying?"

"At the B&B," he looked at Joey.

But before she could speak up, Dawson said, "They actually had an open room?"

Joey looked at him, "No Dawson, the B&B is full. He's staying with me."

Dawson was as clueless as ever, "You knew that he was coming?"

"Yeah, something like that. I invited him."

"You knew that he was in Boston and didn't tell us?"

"Yes Dawson."

Knowing that an argument was in the making, Pacey interrupted, "Only because I asked her not to."

"Dawson, earlier when you told me that Pacey was involved with someone, and I said that it didn't bother me?"

Dawson finally put the pieces together, "You're the woman he's getting serious with, aren't you," he sounded reasonably calm.

"Yes, are you mad that we didn't tell you?"

"Surprisingly, no. I guess that I always knew that you would get back together. But," looking at Pacey, "why did you feel the need to hide from the rest of us?"

"I wanted to know that I could build a new life, without the criticism from those who knew me before."

"But you could go to Joey?" Dawson sounded hurt.

"It's nothing against you man. Over the summer I realized that I had to clear things up before I could move on. And when I saw her, I knew that I had to have her in my life."

"I'm happy for you, I really am. However, if you hurt her again, I'll fell the need to kill you."

"I got a similar threat from Jack."

"And you can count on us to make good on that promise."

Joey stood up to give Dawson a hug, "We should probably be going. I'm glad that you're fine with this." She then let go of Dawson, and reached for Pacey's hand.

Pacey waited until they were outside to wrap his arm around her shoulders, and led her to the truck.

Dawson watched his two friends leave before heading up to his room, where he found Jack and Jen waiting up for him. "You guys knew, didn't you."

"We found out tonight, just as you did."

"How are you taking it?" Jen searched his eyes for an answer.

"Why does everyone ask me that?"

Jack responded, "Well, last time you shut them both out of your life for almost a year."

"I'm fine with it. I've accepted the fact that she's going to love him in a way that she'll never love me."

"And you're really fine with that?"

"Yes."

"We're glad."

"It's going to take some getting used to. But, I think this time it will be much easier. I'm already accustomed to the idea of them being together. Last time was just a huge shock."

"You know that you can talk to us if this, or anything, is bothering you, right."

"Yes Jen, thanks."

May 2002

Joey couldn't believe it. For the first time in a while, her summer was beginning on a relatively high note. All of her friends are talking to her, and he relationship with Pacey was going smoothly. Her biggest decision had been whether to help out Bessie at the B&B or stay in Boston with Pacey and find a job. Despite how tempting it was to stay with Pacey, she opted for the B&B. It was a guaranteed job, and she'd still be able to see Pacey frequently.

Jack and Jen would be spending their summer working in Boston, although they're both going to visit Andie in July. And Dawson, he had an internship in LA for the entire summer, so he'd spend yet another summer away from his friends and family.

Pacey wasn't real crazy about spending the majority of his summer away from Joey. Last summer had been bad enough. And, his bed was going to feel very empty. But, he didn't argue, it wouldn't get him anywhere. That, and he knew that Joey truly missed her family. So, here he was, helping her pack up all of her stuff to take home for the summer. Even though she spent little of her time in her dorm room, he couldn't believe how much crap she had in there. A lot of it she was storing at his place, it saved a great deal of time and hassle that way. And he saw it as a way of having her close to him, while she's in Capeside. Pacey walked up behind Joey, wrapped his arms around her waist, and leaned over, kissing her gently. She stood in the doorway of her room, surveying to make sure that she didn't forget anything.

Satisfied she turned around, "There's nothing left. Did you happen to see where that studly moving guy went? I can't seem to find him anywhere," she pulled away from Pacey and peered down the hallway.

"I might be able to help you find him," Pacey pulled Joey towards him again, this time kissing her passionately.

"Mmmm, yeah, I think we found him," Joey grinned as they parted slightly. "We make a good team, you and I."

"That we do. But we're up to the real test now. Can we survive the summer apart?"

"We've talked about this Pacey. It's the best thing to do – financially. And we'll see each other all the time. Bessie loves you to death, and has left an open invitation for you."

"I know, I know, but it just won't be the same – not seeing you everyday."

"We managed last summer," Joey grinned.

"That was different Jo. We weren't together. But despite everything that you may think, it was hard for me."

"I promise you right here and now that we WILL make it. We are meant to be together. And, I love you. And that will never change." Joey hugged Pacey tight, not wanting to let go.

"I love you too Jo."

End of prologue


	2. Chapter 1

Lost Love Found  
By: Manna

**Chapter 1**

August 2009

The alarm went off, and Pacey slammed the clock before rolling onto his back. He flopped his arm onto the bed. The spot next to him was empty. Not that he didn't already know that. He just wished that, even for just one short day of his life, he could live the life of his dreams…and no longer be alone.

Closing his eyes, he could picture it. A steady job, a home of his own, and married, with at least three kids. But, that was all just a dream, and he knew it too.

Creeping out of bed, he strolled to the bathroom. He had a day full of interviews and auditions ahead of him. If he wanted any chance at all of landing a job, he had to look his best.

By the time Pacey arrived at his final audition later that day, he was tired and frustrated. All he really wanted to do was go home. But, since he was already out and about, he figured that he might as well make this one last stop. When filling out forms for the audition, he left his name blank – maybe the Witter name is what's cursed him all these years. It was worth a shot.

Josephine Leery – everyday she hated those two names together more and more. In fact, it had been almost ten years since that combination was one that she had longed for. Nobody calls her Jo or even Joey anymore, aside from Dawson when they're at home. Now she was known to everybody as Josephine.

Her marriage to Dawson had never been anything more than one of convenience. She was just an object to hang on his arm at social functions. But that's all she had anymore was Dawson. Sure, there were other Hollywood cronies with their prissy wives, but they were HIS friends, not hers. She misses how things had been between them. At least they had once pretended to be in love…at home as well as in public. But they hadn't had that in years. She was beginning to want more, want a family. That was something she really didn't want from Dawson, ever. Things had gotten so bad lately, that she had begun talking to lawyers. She hoped to be filing for divorce by the end of the year…which was just a few months away.

She hoped to go home for a short time. Maybe try to track down some old friends. She hadn't seen Bessie since Christmas last year, and that had only been a short 3-day visit. She didn't see Jen and Jack as much as she'd like. But she does talk to one or the other almost weekly. She talks to Andie on rare occasion, but they hadn't been as close since before she and Pacey. She lost Pacey in college. He hadn't even been at the wedding. As much as it hurt, she'd wanted to invite him, but was unable to find him anywhere. She really missed everybody.

Today was no different from any other day. She was treated by Dawson as if she was just another member of his casting crew. Her job was to find those with potential. Sometimes that wasn't an easy thing to do either. Dawson hated using well-known actors. He doesn't need them…his name alone draws people to the theater.

She sighed with relief. Only one more audition to go. Hopefully it would go well, and she could go home tomorrow. Although, luck hadn't been with her lately.

There's a knock at the theater doors and Joey finds her thoughts interrupted, "Yes?"

"Mrs. Leery," Joey cringed, "your final appointment has arrived."

"Send him in," she takes the form from Karen and finds it to be incomplete. 'Great,' she though, 'more hassles, just what I don't need.' She was really hating Dawson at this exact moment.

She hears a man walk into the room, but doesn't look up. She has this thing about seeing an actor before they get on the stage. "Sir. You haven't filled out the forms completely."

"I am aware of that."

"Fine. Just take the stage and show me what you've got."

As he takes the stage, she looks up. He's waiting for my cue. With just one look at him, she immediately thinks, 'Who cares about talent, his build and stature are perfect,' she grins. "You can begin when ready."

As he finished, she was in awe. He's perfect.

Pacey climbs off the stage feeling good about his performance, but not really quite sure how he'd done.

She opens her mouth as he approaches her, "I'd like to consider you for the part. I just need to get your name."

At that moment, he steps in front of her and she looks up, and her mouth falls open.

'Apparently she likes what she sees,' Pacey thought to himself. "The last name is Witter – W-I-T-T-E-R. First name Pacey – P-A-C-E-Y."

"Thank you, Mr…."

"Witter."

"Yes, Witter. I'll be in touch with you. I guarantee it."

Pacey strutted out of the room. Not only had he obviously performed well, but a woman, a very beautiful woman, had gawked at him. That hadn't happened for a long time. He looked forward to seeing her again.

She turned and watched Pacey stroll out the door. He obviously didn't recognize her, but that was okay, she had changed quite a bit over the years. It gave her time to think about what she was going to do. He, on the other hand, hadn't changed a bit. She couldn't believe it was really him.

2


	3. Chapter 2

Lost Love Found  
By: Manna

**Chapter 2**

Later that night, Pacey sat on the couch watching TV when the phone rang, "Hello?"

"Mr. Pacey Witter please."

"This is Mr. Witter."

"Hi. I'm calling in regard to your audition this afternoon, with DL Enterprises."

"Yes, hello."

"I'd like to see you again. For another audition that is," Joey hoped that she didn't sound nervous.

"Really? That's great," Pacey said, trying not to sound too anxious.

"Could you meet me tomorrow at the theater, noon?"

"I'll be there."

"Perfect. See you then," Joey hung up the phone and heaved a sigh of relief. That was done. She was going to see him again. She just wasn't sure what she was going to do when she did.

Shortly after he hung up the phone, Pacey went to bed, elated. He might finally have a job. He fell asleep in a whirl of dreams.

'_Honey, I'm home.'  
His wife greeted him with a gentle kiss. 'How was your day?'  
'Great, and yours?'  
'Pretty busy, as usual. Jade and Justin have been into everything today.'  
'Where are the rugrats now?'  
'Justin's coloring in the kitchen, and Jade's off bothering Brittany.'_

Dawson emerged from the bathroom and climbed into bed. These trips were the only time anymore that he and Joey shared a bed. At home, they have had separate rooms for quite some time now. "So, Jo, did you find anyone to fill the roles?"

She couldn't possibly tell him about Pacey, not right now anyway. She wasn't in the mood for one of his rages right now. "Possibly, all except the lead that is. I'm going to see a few more people tomorrow," it wasn't a total lie.

Once again, the alarm went off. This time was different though. Pacey was ready for the day. Now he just wished to have someone to share his excitement with. But, these days he found himself to be friendless. He hadn't had much for friends since college, when everyone had gone their own ways, and when he had left his old life behind. He assumed that Joey and Dawson were somewhere living happily ever after with a house full of kids. He still talked to Jen on grave occasion… she had remained his only link to Joey. Jen had told him about the wedding, they'd gotten married just four months after he left. And even though he had been the one to end it, it hurt that they had waited such a short amount of time. It was almost as if they'd been waiting for him to leave. And even though Jack was living with Jen, Pacey never talked to him. Although he'd asked Jen not to tell a soul that she talks to him, he figured that Jack knows, but Jen doesn't want Jack to murder him. And as for Andie, he hadn't talked to her since before he left the first time.

Pacey arrived at the theater a few minutes early, only to run into his potential employer outside of the building.

"Mr. Witter, I'm glad you could make it. Could we go somewhere and grab lunch?"

"Um, sure," he didn't know what to think; he had been expecting another audition.

"I'll drive. There's this place I'm dying to try."

"Ok," he wasn't going to argue.

They were both silent the entire drive. As they pulled up to the restaurant, Pacey couldn't believe his eyes. She was taking him to the ritziest place in Kansas City.

Joey pulled into the parking lot, and watched the look on his face. It was working. He seemed to be impressed. She left her keys with the valet, and together they walked through the doors of the restaurant. Greeted by the mater 'd, she said, "Reservations for Miss Josephine."

"Certainly ma 'ma, this way please."

After being seated, Pacey said quite frankly, "I get the distinct sense that this meal was planned."

"Well, yeah, it was. I don't need you to re-audition. I just needed an excuse to talk to you in person." She took a drink of water and looked at him before continuing. His face displayed an expression of confusion. "As soon as I saw you standing on that stage, I knew you were perfect for the part. There's just one problem though."

"I should have know this would happen. I was stupid to get my hopes up," he looks down at the table and notices her hands trembling on the table. On her left hand, there was a simple gold wedding band. He should have guessed. This just wasn't his day. He got up to leave.

"Wait a minute Mr. Witter. Can I call you Pacey?"

"Whatever you want."

"Pacey, please don't be mad. You don't understand. I think you're perfect, but I don't think the director would agree. I have something to tell you, and please don't get angry."

Confused more now than ever, Pacey agreed, "I couldn't get mad at such a beautiful woman."

He heard her whisper under her breath, 'If only that were true,' but chose to ignore it.

She took a deep breath and continued, here goes nothing, "Have you heard of the director Dawson Leery?"

"I'm not really one for remembering big…" coughing, "Did you say 'Dawson Leery'? I haven't heard that name in a long time." Although I just thought of him this morning. "He's a director huh, that doesn't surprise me. But, I have a question for you. While I have to agree, how do you know he wouldn't like me? Have you heard bad stories?"

Going out on a limb, Joey said, "I've more than heard stories Pace. I lived them."

Pacey didn't seem to catch on at first, "You just called me Pace. He once called me that, years ago, not many people ever called me that."

She didn't want to beat around the bush anymore, "I know Pace. What did you think would happen to me after you just up and left? I wake up one morning, and you're gone. No explanation as to why you left. Just an evil note," she was blubbering now.

"My God, JO! I didn't recognize you. Please don't cry, you know how I hate it when you cry," he got up and hugged her. "I'm sorry about that, I really am."

Regaining her composure, she says, "That's in the past now. What's done is done."

"If that were true Jo, you wouldn't have called me, and you wouldn't be crying."

"Pacey, what happened between us? What made you leave? Do you know how much I've tortured myself all these years? What did I do wrong?"

"Oh Jo, it wasn't you. I guess it was me. And maybe Dawson too. But, It definitely was not you."

"DAWSON? He had something to do with you leaving. He never…"

"Not intentionally Jo, he didn't purposely make me leave."

"Then do you mind telling me why? It's something I'm dying inside to know."

"I really don't know anymore Jo. That was seven years ago," 'Seven painful years.' Shifting awkwardly in his seat, he continued, "All I remember is that, at the time, it seemed like the only possible answer to the problem. And it seemed like the right thing to do."

"Oh, I get it. You ran away, again, from a problem that I didn't even know existed."

"I didn't runaway…I just altered my direction in life."

Quite disgusted, she reached into her purse, grabbing a business card. Quickly she scribbled a phone number on the back and threw it on the table along with some cash, "If you ever remember what made you leave, I'll be in town for about a week. Call me. And use the money for a cab." Standing up, she stormed out the door. She couldn't believe how easily she was still riled up by him.

Pacey watched Joey get up, not really wanting her to leave. So, on pure instinct, he chased after her, "Jo, wait!" He didn't catch up with her until they were out of the restaurant. Reaching out, he grabbed her arm.

"Let go of me!"

"Jo," saying no more, he pulled her closer, and kissed her. It seemed like the natural thing to do. He'd forgotten how great it felt, kissing her. He also couldn't help but notice that she wasn't fighting him. Unfortunately the kiss ended all too soon. It wasn't long before she pushed him away. It reminded him of junior year when he had kissed her on the side of the road.

Looking shaken up, she stammered, "Pacey, I have to go now."

"I'm sorry Jo."

"I really have to go," with that she raced off.

Dawson returned to the room, surprised Joey wasn't back yet. She said she only had one or two auditions left. He didn't know why he was worried, things were different now. Nowadays, they were only married in the legal sense. It had been like this for some time now. He couldn't remember exactly when and why things changed. It seemed as if they had just grown apart. But today was somehow different. He was worried. Something just didn't feel right.

Joey stood outside the door, leaning against the wall. She had to regain her composure before entering the room. She knew Dawson would be there, and she couldn't let him see her like this. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door.

"Hey Jo. Where've you been?"

Lying through her teeth, "At the theater," she hoped that Dawson could no longer tell that when she was or wasn't lying, that was once a skill he had mastered. "One of the idiots never showed up."

"Then you found someone?"

"Yeah, but I changed my mind. I don't think he's right for the part at all."

"Well, maybe I'll think differently."

"No! I mean, I don't think that's necessary. He's just not the person we were looking for."

"Jo, I don't want to fight. I'm tired of fighting with you."

"Who says we're fighting? We're not fighting."

"Don't deny it Jo. We've fought enough that I recognize the signs. Please Jo, just show me the notes. I promise I won't go against your decision, but I want to know what made you change your mind. That's not like you."

"Fine, have it your way." She grabbed her notes and threw them on the bed next to him, "I hope you're happy now. I'm going down to the bar." Joey really just wanted to lay in bed and relax, but she couldn't be there when Dawson read the name on the application. She knew he was just going to flip.

As Joey shut the door behind her, Dawson grabbed the folder and opened it. This was easy, there was only one application, so this had to be the guy. He glanced at the notes and read only positive remarks, nothing bad. He then glanced at the rest of the application. Nothing seemed unusual. Then, he read the name, and lost it. Jumping to his feet, Dawson ran to find Joey.

He found her exactly where she said she'd be. He grabbed her shoulder and spun her on the bar stool so that she was facing him, "Why Jo!?"

"Why what?" She pretended to have no clue what he was raving about.

"You lied to me! And I want to know why."

Continuing to play dumb, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't play dumb with me Jo. You know EXACTLY what in the hell I'm talking about! Why didn't you tell me that Pacey was here?"

"I didn't find it necessary."

"You can't be serious! How did it seem to you that your seeing Pacey Witter was something I didn't need to know?"

"Dawson, please, calm down. You're making a scene."

"I really don't care Jo!"

"That's a first. You, don't care about your image. You know Dawson, this is exactly the reason why I didn't tell you. I knew you'd throw one of your tantrums – ranting and raving about everything Pacey's ever done to you. And frankly, I'm sick of hearing about it, and didn't want to hear about it again."

"Oh, so this is about you now. What YOU want. I get it. Everything is about you."

"No Dawson, it's always about you. You don't care about me anymore, if you ever did. All you care about is your career. But, believe whatever you want. I'm going out – away from you."

With that said, Joey left the bar, her head held high. She wasn't going to lose what little pride she had left. She went up to the room and grabbed her keys. The message light was blinking. She played it, hoping it was maybe a business call, anything to get her mind off of the situation. No such luck. She listened to the familiar voice, "Hey Jo, its Pacey. I'm sorry about this afternoon. Give me a call."

Joey deleted the message, grabbed her purse, and retrieved Pacey's profile from its spot on the floor. Maybe she'd just have to pay Mr. Witter a visit.

It was 8:30, and had been a slow evening thus far, but Mike had a feeling that would all change as he watched a pretty brunette stroll up to the bar. She laid her purse on the bar, sat down and said, "Give me a shot of the hardest stuff you've got."

"Sure thing miss." He watched as she quickly downed the drink.

She then set the glass on the bar, "Give me another one of those." She watched him pour more liquor into a glass, "So, what's your name?"

"Mike, and yours?"

"Joey, it's short for Josephine."

"That's a nice name. So what brings you to my bar tonight? Are you new in town?"

"I'm visiting for a few days. And I was on the way to see a friend when I saw your bar. I decided to stop in for a quick drink first." Joey downed her second drink, "Another Mike."

"My pleasure," the place was slow tonight, and that didn't bother Mike at all. He wanted to get to know this beautiful woman. "So Miss Joey, what had you so riled up tonight? Wait, let me guess, it's a guy."

"Betcha get girls like me in here all the time, trying to drown whatever problems a member of the opposite sex has inflicted on them. Well, I've got two guys causing me problems. Men are more trouble than they're worth," she downed the third shot. "Give me something bigger this time."

"Why am I not surprised that you have two men."

"Actually it's the opposite. My husband is an asshole. I haven't loved him since high school. Our marriage has been an enormous game of make believe from the get go." Joey downed a third of her now larger drink.

"You mentioned two men?"

"Oh yeah, then there's my ex."

"Husband?"

"No…just boyfriend. Probably would've been my husband if he hadn't run away. He left me seven years ago, next month actually."

"So how is he a problem?"

"I heard nothing of him since he left, until I ran into him yesterday and I realized that I still love him." Joey gulped the rest of her drink, "That was good. Give me another."

"I think maybe you should slow down a bit. The night is still young."

"Don't you worry about me, Mike. I'll be fine. You just keep doing your job."

At 10:30, Mike listened as the beautiful Joey made a fool of herself. As she asked for another drink, Mike knew that he had to deny her request. She had long ago stopped making any sense. "Joey, I'm sorry. I can't serve you anymore to drink."

"Then get me a different bartender."

"Joey there isn't a bartender here that is going to serve you. You're extremely intoxicated. I can give you some coffee."

"No thanks."

"Can I call you a cab?"

"I suppose I should go home."

"I think that's a great idea."

"Thank you so much Mike."

"You're welcome Joey."

Joey stood outside leaning against the building waiting for her cab. She seriously had no idea where she was, or where home was. She dug through her purse and found a piece of paper just as the cab drove up.

"Where to miss?"

She handed him the piece of paper. Joey laid across the backseat for what seemed like forever before they pulled up outside an unfamiliar house. She hoped that this was home, and she was just to drunk to realize it. She handed the cabbie some money, and he returned her piece of paper and she shoved it back in her purse. Joey stumbled up the sidewalk to the door to find it locked. She tried all of her keys, but none of them worked. So, she resorted to knocking.

Pacey looked at the clock, 11 pm. Who could possibly be knocking on his door at this hour? He stopped his video and made his way to the door in his boxers and a t-shirt. "Who's there?" There was no answer. He tried to slowly pull open the door, but as soon as it was unlatched, it fell open and Joey fell onto him. "Jo! What happened to you?"

"I went to the bar," she giggled.

Pacey groaned, he knew from past experiences that she doesn't hold her alcohol well. "Do you know where you are?"

"Home. But, why did you change the locks."

"I didn't change the locks Jo."

"Then why don't any of my keys work?"

"Because this isn't your home," Pacey looked at Joey laying on his couch, now passed out. "Jo," he shook her gently.

"Hmmm…"

"I can't let you sleep."

"Sure you can."

"No I can't, you're drunk."

"Pacey, please let me sleep."

"How do you know that I'm Pacey?" He couldn't help but question her. She'd been known to mistake her men when drunk before. And he couldn't believe it. She couldn't seem to remember anything.

"Duh," she slurred, "I'm at home, so obviously you're Pacey. Because you live here too."

Curious to hear her reasoning, "I do?"

"Why wouldn't my husband, the man I love, live in my house with me?"

"No reason." Pacey looked at her with pity, she was passed out again. Then he whispered, "Because this isn't your house."

Despite his protests, Pacey couldn't keep Joey awake. After she fell asleep she picked her up and carried her into his bedroom. Then he went back to the living room. He still couldn't believe that Joey was passed out drunk, sleeping in his bed. And to think that she believed that he was her husband. Pacey sat at the coffee table. He went back to his movie and the open box that sat on the table. He hadn't looked at any of these things in a long time. After rummaging through the pictures in the box, he found the one he was looking for. It was a picture of him an Joey, taken on a pier in Florida. Holding onto the photo, he lay back on the sofa and focused his attention on the TV.

6


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 

Joey woke up with a pounding headache. She sat up slowly and looked around the room. She had no idea where she was. She slinked out of bed, in search of the bathroom, and hopefully something for her headache. She took a couple aspirin, then went to find the kitchen, still with no idea where she was. She passed a sofa and a blue-screened TV as she spotted the kitchen. She found the coffee in a cupboard and started some brewing. She then went to find her purse. As she entered the living room, she saw someone laying on the couch. She was suddenly worried that she'd gone home with some unknown drunk. Walking over to the couch, she realized that she knew this stranger. It was none other than Pacey Witter. She now remembered that she left the bar in a cab, and she must have somehow given his address to the cab driver. She stood over him, silently watching him sleep. Joey noticed a picture resting on his chest, it had obviously slipped from his grip. She then noticed a box of pictures sitting on the floor. She sat down slowly and began sorting through the pictures, all of hers were packed away in the attic… along with anything else that had somehow reminded her of Pacey, and what they'd once had. It had all hurt too badly, yet she couldn't bare to get rid of any of it. She was saving it for the day when it would no longer hurt. As she flipped through a stack of pictures, memories of her past came flooding back. She came across the picture taken just before Andie had left for Italy. As much as she tried no to, she started to cry.

Pacey emerged from his sleep to see Joey sitting on the floor in front of him, crying. He looked down at her and noticed the picture she was holding onto. Pacey sat up slowly, "How are you feeling this morning Jo?"

Startled, Joey turned to face Pacey, "Hi. Um, well, I've been better. I've got a slight… okay, major headache, but otherwise, not too bad. Look Pace, I'm sorry about last night. I don't know what came over me. I also apologize for whatever I said or did."

"No big deal Joey."

"I got your message yesterday, and I was on my way to see you. And I guess I got sidetracked."

"So do you forgive me for kissing you yesterday?"

Grinning she said, "Yeah…this time. Although it's hard to forgive someone when you're not mad at them."

"You weren't mad at me? Then why'd you run off like that?"

"I was surprised, that's all. I guess I didn't know what to expect when I saw you."

"I apologize again Jo. I think I was more surprised than anything to see you. I never thought I'd see you again. And, I guess I felt ashamed that I didn't recognize you when I first saw you yesterday."

"Do you know how much it hurt me when you left?"

The question seemed to come out of nowhere. "Jo, I never…Well, that's why I called you. I wanted to tell you the answer to that question that you asked me at lunch."

She looked up at him, "You don't have to tell me if you're not ready."

"I'm ready Jo. You just caught me off-guard yesterday," he paused again before starting his story. "Jo, I've always loved you. I hated to let you go, but I knew it was in your best interests…"

"My best interests?"

"Please, just let me finish. Anyway, I knew you would be happier with Dawson. I could tell that your thoughts were always with him. And whenever he got into one of his moods or threw one of his tantrums, you'd grow distant. It was as if I didn't exist at those times. How do you think it made me feel? I didn't want to leave. Believe me, it hurt me a lot to do it. Can you ever forgive me?"

In a bold move, Joey scooted closer to Pacey, took his hand, and put her head on his shoulder. "Oh Pacey, of course I'll forgive you. I'm sorry that I hurt you so much. That was never my intention. It's just that Dawson was always trying to make me feel guilty for choosing you over him. And, I guess, I just couldn't picture myself without his friendship, but I no longer lived to gain his love. It was your love that I wanted. And I thought you knew that."

"But you're with him. No, not just with him, but married to him. You hurt me too Jo. How do you think I felt when I found out that you had married him. Just four short months after I left?"

"Don't remind me, please. But, you really didn't leave me with much choice, and it seemed like my only option. Dawson was always there when I needed a shoulder to cry on. He was constantly reminding me that 'He didn't deserve you,' or 'You deserve better' – meaning him. It was as if he had finally won. I don't think he really loved me anymore, he just hated the thought that you and I had what he had wanted, and that he could only hope that I would have it with him. After a while, I began to think that maybe Dawson did love me, and that we were meant to be together."  
"I couldn't have been more wrong. He treats me like a trophy he won, not a wife that he loves. The marriage is purely one of convenience – that's all it's ever really been. He still throws those stupid tantrums when things aren't going his way."

"Jo, if only I'd known."

"I don't think any of us could have known. In fact, he threw another one of his tantrums yesterday – over you."

"Me?"

"Yeah, he's pissed because I didn't tell him that I saw you. He's gone too far this time."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I don't know Pacey. I don't know what I'm going to do yet. I think I'm going to try talking to him. Tell him how unhappy I am. That I want things to change."

"That sounds like a good idea Jo. But do you think he'll really listen?"

"No, probably not. Especially once he hears that I stayed here last night. But, I want to see you again. Will you meet me for dinner tonight? Maybe we can make this meal work better than our last one."

"It would be my pleasure." Pacey liked where this was going. Maybe he was being given his second chance at true love.

"Why don't you meet me at the same place as yesterday, at 6:30."

"I'm looking forward to it already."

Joey picked up her purse and headed to the door, "So am I."

* * *

Joey walked into her hotel room to find Dawson sitting on the bed watching TV, something he rarely did.

Dawson looked at Joey, "Where were you last night?"

Joey grinned, "I went to the bar."

"But bars close at 2, and you didn't come back at all."

"There was an inn across the street. I stayed there because I was too drunk to drive home."

"You stayed with Pacey, didn't you?"

"It's not what you think Dawson. Although, even if it was, I don't really care. You don't love me anymore."

Dawson stared at her in shock.

"Did you ever love me? Or was I just a trophy to be won. Something to make you feel superior to Pacey?"

"Of course I loved you Jo."

"But you don't anymore, do you."

"No, I guess I don't."

"Did you love me when we got married?"

"I thought I did, but I don't know."

"Dawson, there is something I need to tell you. I can't live like this anymore. You treat me like I'm an object. Somebody to help make you look respectable. Our fights have become more frequent."

"I know Jo. I don't know what happened to us. There was a time when we did work."

"But that was ten years ago; before Pacey. It hasn't worked since then. I've been talking with a lawyer Dawson. And I've decided to leave you."

"Is that really necessary Jo? Can't we somehow work things out?"

"Why Dawson? We can't fix something that didn't work to begin with."

"Are you going to go to Pacey?"

"Is that what this is about? You feel that you've lost to Pacey? You just hate that feeling? The feeling of being a failure. Of not being able to make this marriage work?"

"No Jo, for once, that's far from the truth. Yes, I wish I could have made this work. But, I just wanted to know where you were going to be? Believe it or not, I do worry about you still."

"Thanks Dawson. But, I dunno what I'm going to do. We're having dinner tonight. But we're only friends. As you know, he hurt me. And I don't know how far I've come towards healing."

"How are we going to handle things now?"

"I dunno. I didn't even know how I was going to do this Dawson. But I can't stay here anymore Dawson." Joey walks around the room, gathering her miscellaneous items and shoving them in a suitcase. "I'm going to finish collecting my things and then I'm leaving. I'm going to Montana. I'll have all of my things out of the LA house before you return." Joey shoved the last of her things in a tote bag and headed to the door.

"I'll miss you Jo."

She opened the door and paused, "No you won't." Joey turned and shut the door behind herself. She had finally shut the door on what had been an extremely unhappy period in her life.

3


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 

Pacey sat nervously in the restaurant's lobby. It was just before 6:30, but he had this huge fear that Joey wasn't going to show up. That she had somehow managed to work things out with Dawson and decided to stay with him. That she was toying with him, as a sort of revenge for the past, for what he did to her. But then she saw her stroll gracefully through those front doors, as beautiful as ever. He stood up, "Joey, you look absolutely ravishing."

"Thank you very much Pacey. You look dashing." They walked up to the matre'd, "Reservations for Josephine Potter."

"This way please."

After they were seated, Pacey said, "You know Jo, I was slightly worried that you wouldn't show up."

"Of course I'd be here Pacey. I couldn't do that to you, or anyone. Besides, I wanted to see you again before I leave for LA."

"Wait, leave for LA?"

"Yes Pacey, that's where I live. Well, at least until I can get all of my stuff moved to Montana."

"Montana?"

"Yes, like most Hollywood moguls, we have two homes, and the one in Montana is the one that I love, so that's the one that I want."

"When are you leaving?"

"In a few days."

"So soon?"

"I have to Pace. I have to get things straightened out."

* * *

After dinner, Pacey and Joey stood outside the restaurant, holding hands. Pacey was the first to speak, "Where are you staying?" 

"At the Plaza."

"Nice place."

Joey smiled, "Only the best."

Pacey didn't want this to be how things ended between them, "Can you come over for some coffee?"

Joey smiled, "I'll ask if I can."

Pacey laughed.

"Sure, I'd love to."

They pulled up to Pacey's house and went inside. "Joey, make yourself comfortable. I'll get the coffee."

Joey sat on the sofa and noticed that the box of pictures was still sitting on the floor. Once again, memories of the past came flooding back to her.

A few minutes later, Pacey returned carrying two mugs of coffee. He saw Joey looking at the box of pictures on the floor. He had meant to put them away earlier, but had obviously forgotten. She looked like she was thinking about something. She didn't even notice when he sat down next to her. He sat down the mugs, "Joey?"

Once again, he had startled her, "Pacey. Sorry. You have a nice place here. I don't think I mentioned that this morning."

"Thanks Jo. Can I ask what you were thinking about just now?"

"Just remembering the past. That's all."

"Is that what you were thinking about this morning too?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"What made you cry?"

"You weren't supposed to see me cry."

"But I did. And you were holding a certain picture. It was the one taken at the Leery's restaurant just before Andie left. What was it about that picture?"

Joey desperately tried to hold back her tears, "Oh Pacey, it's everything about it. We were so happy. Jen was finding that there was life beyond Henry. Jack, well Jack was still trying to decide where he fit in. Andie had just been accepted to Harvard and was leaving for a semester in Italy. You and Dawson were finally being civil. And, you and me, we were in love. I was so happy, and I had always thought you were too. I thought we'd be together forever." Tears began to stream down her face, "If only we'd known how things would turn out in the end."

Pacey picked up the box, "I'll be right back. I'm going to put this away." When he returned, he sat next to Joey and put his arms around her shoulders. At the same time Joey rested her head in the crook of his neck. It all felt so right. Why had he ever let her go? "Joey, I'm really sorry about everything, I truly am. I told you that earlier."

"I know that Pacey, but that doesn't change anything. The past, as much as I wish possible, can't be erased and rewritten."

"Believe me, I know that more than anyone. Everyday I wish I had acted differently. But, I have to ask, what would you change? Would you have prevented us ever being together? If it makes you feel any better, I was always happy with you Joey. I've always loved you."

"Never, I would have erased the day you left, and every miserable day since then. Did you ever try to find me? Try to change things?"

"A couple of times," okay, so it was more than a couple times, but she didn't really need to know that…at least not right now she didn't. "The first time was about six months later. It was during the summer. I went back to Capeside for Dougie's wedding. Can you believe he married a beautiful woman? They have three great kids now. And they love their Uncle Pacey."

"All kids love you Pacey. And you know that you were the only one who thought he was gay."

"I know, I know. Anyway, I thought that maybe you would be home for the summer. I checked around, but no one had seen you."

"It was a long time before I returned home. It hurt too much. Everything reminded me of you. It was just too hard," she looked away from Pacey for a slight moment before asking, "And the second time?"

"It was about five years ago," his conversations with Jen had become less frequent since then, it had gotten to be too depressing. "I found Jen and she informed me that you and Dawson had been married," okay, so he'd known about the wedding before he went to Capeside, but he had secretly denied that is had happened. "She gave me your number and suggested that I still call you," every time they talked she suggested that, "that you'd love to hear from me."

"She was right. It would have been great to know that you were alive and well." Joey wondered why Jen had never mentioned talking to Pacey…she'd have to ask next time they talked.

"Yeah, I thought about that too. I kept the number around for a while. All I could think was, she doesn't need me back in her life to complicate things. She has Dawson, she's happy."

"You still should have called."

"Actually, I did, once. Dawson answered the phone and I didn't know what to say, so I hung up."

"Oh Pacey, it seems as if we've both had the wrong idea all these years. But, lets not think about that now. Lets watch some TV."

"Sounds like a good idea," Pacey flicked on the TV and surfed the channels until he found an old black and white sitcom. He relaxed against the couch, and Joey cuddled closer to him. He reached around and grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and gently wrapped it around them.

"Hey Jo. I have a great idea. How about you stay here until you leave."

"Pacey, that's not necessary. I invaded your home last night, I can't and won't again tonight."

"Please, it'll save you money."

"Um, Pace, in case you haven't noticed, I don't need the money."

"But what if I just needed an excuse for you to stay?"

"Fine, but I'm going to sleep on the couch. I won't steal your bed again."

"You deserve to sleep in a nice, warm bed. I won't have it any other way." Pacey put on a putting, cute puppy dog face that he knew she couldn't resist.

"Fine, I'll take the bed," Joey said in a huff.

It wasn't long before Joey was sound asleep. Pacey waited a while longer before slipping from her grasps, as much as he didn't want to, he knew they'd both be sore in the morning if he didn't. She stirred slightly but remained asleep. Ever so carefully, Pacey bent over and picked her up, moving her to his bed. No sooner did he have the blankets up around her that she cuddled into the covers and pillows.

Pacey pulled up the chair that sat in the corner of his room and just watched her sleep. Suddenly, he was remembering the day that he left her. It was early in the fall, about a month after classes had started. If you combined senior year and their first year of college, they'd been dating for about 2 years and Joey had begun talking more and more about commitment and living together. Even though, in most aspects, that's what they'd been doing for the past year, he just couldn't do it. She hated the dorms, and as a sophomore, she was no longer required to live there. But he had convinced her, much to Bessie's delight, to stay there at least for the fall semester. He didn't mind the idea of sharing and apartment with her. It was just that he knew as soon as they were officially living together, she'd start talking about marriage. Unlike most guys his age, he wasn't afraid of getting married. It was just that, no matter how much he really wanted to, he felt couldn't marry Joey. He knew that was terrible to say about the woman that he loved, but that's why he said it, because he loved her. He knew that he'd only pull her down in life, when she could be out there accomplishing anything she wanted. He'd thought about it a lot, and knew that leaving town was the best for both of them. Without seeing each other, it would be easier to move on. They had spent the night together in her room, and he left before she woke up in the morning. He left a single yellow rose, her favorite, with a note attached lying on her desk. He could still remember what the note said:

_Joey, _

_This is good-bye. I've left town and never plan on returning. I don't know where I'm going, so don't try to find me. Don't count on me calling either. If I ever get where I'm going, I might call if I remember, but I doubt it. _

_Pacey_

He had tried to keep the letter short and to the point, in an effort to make her hate him. If she hated him, it would be easier for her to let him go. He'd kept in touch with Jen, talking to her on the phone, but for the longest time, he wouldn't tell her where he was.

The first time he called was about a week after leaving. Jen had never been afraid to be truthful with him, that's why he talked to her; he also knew that she could also keep a secret. He could remember the first time they talked.

"_Jen Lindley please."  
"This is Jen."  
"Hi Jen. Are you alone right now?"  
"Um…yeah, why? Who is this?"  
"It's Pacey."  
"Ohmigod! Pacey. How are you? Where are you? Have you talked to Joey?"  
"One question at a time Lindley. I'm fine. I can't tell you where I am. And no, I haven't talked to Joey."  
"You should really call her Pacey. She misses you."  
"Has she said that she misses me?"  
"No, but she cries herself to sleep every night. She stays in her room all of the time."  
"She wasn't supposed to miss me. She's supposed to hate me."  
"What did you expect Pacey! You were her life. She can't stand not being near you. And she hates not knowing where you are. She doesn't know what she did wrong…to make you hate her…make you leave."  
"It wasn't her fault. It's all about me. I'm not good enough for her, she deserved better."  
"Pacey, in the eyes of Joey, there's no one better than you. Even after all of this, she still believes that. So Pacey, why exactly did you call?"  
"I'm not sure. I guess I wanted to hear that she hates my guts and is glad to be rid of me."  
"Well, obviously you're not going to hear that, because it's a lie."  
"I know that now. I need to go Jen. Thanks for talking to me."  
"Bye Pacey, are you going to call again?"  
"Um..yeah, probably. Bye."_

He had been kind of glad to hear that Joey missed him, but that also meant she was hurting. He didn't want her to be hurting.

4


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 

Pacey didn't remember falling asleep, but he woke up with a crick in his neck. He looked over at his bed, where Joey was still soundly sleeping. She looked so beautiful. He couldn't believe his luck. Maybe they could be together again. He knew better than to get his hopes up though. She claimed to forgive him, but does she really. At this moment, he vowed that, no matter what happened, from here on out, he would never, ever, hurt her again.

Joey stirred slightly before rolling over. She seemed surprised to see him sitting in the chair. She smiled, "Pacey, hi."

"Sleep well Jo?"

"Yes I did, you've got a pretty comfortable bed here Mr. Witter."

"I like to think so."

"Thanks for letting me crash here Pace."

"No problem, Ms. Potter. Oh wait, technically it's still Mrs. Leery, isn't it." Shit, why did I say that?

"Pacey, please don't call me that. I really don't want to be associated with him any more than necessary."

"Sorry Jo, I didn't mean to hit a sore spot."

"It's okay Pacey. But once I'm back in LA, it will officially be over. He's not going to fight this. But, it's going to be hard, it'll be like starting over."

"You'll be fine Jo. You always succeed at everything you set your mind to, and you know it."

By now, Joey was standing before the window, gazing outside, "Not everything," she whispered.

Pacey came up behind her, and more than anything he wanted to put his arms around her. But, he knew that it was too soon for something like that. "What was that Jo?" He had heard what she said. He even had a strong hunch what she was talking about…her past relationship with him.

Joey tensed up, and then relaxed. It felt weird having him so close to her again. She longed for him to touch her…even just a simple hug would be nice. "Nothing, I didn't say a word," she wondered if he'd really heard what she'd whispered.

"Sure, whatever Jo," Pacey knew better. She'd always been a terrible liar.

"Pacey, thanks for letting me stay here. I really appreciate it. But, I hate invading your home."

"I don't consider it an invasion. You're a welcome guest." A desired guest actually, Pacey thought to himself.

"I'm glad that I have you back in my life."

"I am too Jo."

"Pacey, I need to call my lawyer. I need to let her know." Joey was searched through her planner for a number. She flipped open her cell phone and dialed, then waited. "Yes, Ms. Abigail Evans please. Yes, I'll hold." She smiled at Pacey.

Sensing that she might want to be alone, Pacey went into the kitchen to make some lunch.

"Abigail, hi. It's Josephine Leery."

"Josephine, hi. How are you?"

"Great, and yourself?"

"No complaints. To what do I owe the pleasure of your call?"

"I have some great news. I left Dawson this morning."

"You did. I'm glad for you. Where are you now?"

"In Kansas City, the crew's here on one of his casting missions. Actually, that's part of why I'm called now instead of upon my return. I'm staying with a friend."

"No offense, but I didn't know you had any friends in Kansas City."

"Neither did I, until the day before yesterday," Joey smiled, thinking about how lucky and happy she was to have found Pacey. "He's an old friend from home."

"Ah…a male friend," Abigail was curious. "Is he by any chance a former lover?"

"Yes actually. I dated him after breaking up with Dawson, and then he's the reason I ended up back with Dawson."

"Any chance of rekindling the flames?"

"Possibly, but I'm not sure."

"Have fun Josephine. I'll see you when you get back here."

"Thanks Abigail."

"Sure, oh, by the way, how'd Dawson take it?"

"Better than I expected."

"That's good to hear. Bye."

"Bye."

Joey closed her phone and went to find Pacey, knowing he was in the kitchen. "She told me to have fun."

"Sounds like my kind of woman," Pacey grinned.

"Lets go to the park or something."

"Whatever you want."

2


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 

That evening Joey sat across from Pacey playing cards, "I had a great time today. What are your plans for tonight?"

"Whatever you want to do," he couldn't believe how pathetic he sounded.

"I hate to keep you from anything Pacey. I can stay here by myself you know."

"I know you can, but I had no plans." Then he thought to himself, 'When do I ever have plans, besides working that is?'

"Come on, you've gotta be neglecting some beautiful girlfriend in order to spend time with me, and I won't have it."

"There is no one Jo."

Joey was glad to hear that, she knew that another woman would make her green with envy, "No one?" She grinned.

"That's what I said, no one," Pacey noticed that she seemed a little too happy about this bit of information. "Now that we've got that all cleared up, what would you like to do Ms. Potter?"

"Can we do what we did last night?" She craved to feel his touch again. She'd forgotten how much she had forgotten his gentle touch.

Hoping she wanted what he wanted, he grinned slyly and asked, "What, watch TV, that's boring." He smiled.

"Is it a bad thing that I want to curl up under a warm blanket and watch TV." All she really wanted was for him to hold her. She wanted to gaze up at him, without him realizing it.

"I'd like that Joey. There's nothing better than relaxing with an old friend while watching your favorite program. But before that, I'm gonna grab some munchies." Pacey liked where things seemed to be heading. But he couldn't help but wonder if he was just someone to distract her thoughts of Dawson. 'Stop that, that's why you lost her the first time.' He decided not to think about it. He went into the kitchen and put a bag of popcorn in the microwave. Then he reached for the phone. He hadn't told Joey the absolute truth. There was somewhere he was supposed to be tonight, but there wasn't a girl. His steady source of income came from working at a local bar.  
"Hey Mike, Witter here."

"How's it going?"

"Pretty great. Actually, that's why I'm calling. I'm not going to be in tonight. I have company."

"A lady friend?"

"Yeah, and she needs me tonight."

"Just like you need her," Mike laughed, "I'm not going to argue with that. The night is yours."

"Thanks man, I really appreciate it."

Joey heard him hang up the phone and hurried out to the living room. She hadn't intended on eavesdropping, but she couldn't help it. She now knew that he had lied to her. Joey had gone into the bedroom to change into something more comfortable, a t-shirt and shorts that she could sleep in. Then she decided to see if Pacey needed any help, and that's when she heard him talking. She sat on the couch and waited for him to come back out. When he did, she waited for him to sit down before starting the questioning. "So, Pacey, when are you going to start telling me the truth?"

"What do you mean?"

"I heard you on the phone. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have eavesdropped, but I couldn't help it."

"It's not what you think Jo, really, it's not."

"Then what is it exactly? You said there wasn't anyone else. I don't want or need your pity. I just want a friend. And I thought that's what we were, friends." Joey couldn't believe how jealous she sounded. It wasn't like Pacey was really hers to claim.

"We are friends Jo. And there isn't anyone else, that's the truth…"

"Then who are you ditching for me tonight?"

"I was supposed to work. But it's no big deal because Wednesday nights are slow."

Now Joey just felt bad, "Pacey, you can't miss work, because of me. I won't let you."

"Yes, I can, and I am."

"Fine, then let me give you some money, please."

"Potter, now you're pitying me, and I don't want that anymore than you do."

"Fine, but please promise that this is the last time that you'll miss work because of me," Joey grinned, "I don't want you're friends to think that I'm a bad influence on you."

"I promise, and don't worry, my friends will find you to be a great influence." His co-workers, especially Mike, were constantly trying to set him up. He absolutely hated it. There hadn't been anyone since Joey. With that, Pacey snatched the remote from the coffee table and sat back, resting in the corner of the couch. He extended his arm across the back of the couch, inviting Joey to rest against him. She quickly slid up, leaning against him. He lowered his arm protectively around her shoulders. This felt nice.

Joey soon broke the peaceful silence between them, "Pacey, I'm sleeping on the couch tonight, I won't drive you from your bed for a third night in a row."

"I won't have it any other way. We already had this argument last night."

"Fine, I'll sleep in the bed, under one condition."

"And what would that be?"

"Well…it's a big bed," she grinned.

"No way Jo."

"Hear me out, please. It's a big enough bed. And it wouldn't be any different than that time at Aunt Gwen's."

"It's different Jo. We were in high school then, and we weren't involved. Not that we're involved now, but things are a lot more complicated."

"It won't be any different. I promise. Please Pacey."

"Alright Jo, but only because you're insisting upon it."

Joey smiled; she knew that she'd get him to agree. "Now that we've settled that, lets watch some TV."

* * *

After watching what seemed like endless hours of reruns, Pacey and Joey both were beginning to fade. "What do you say Potter? Should we surrender to a more comfortable resting place?" 

She didn't bother mentioning that she was quite comfortable at the moment, "Sure thing Pacey."

Slowly they both stood up and tromped down the hall to the bedroom. Joey, having changed earlier, crawled into bed. Grinning, she watched Pacey strip down to his boxers. He still has a great body. She shifted her gaze as she crawled into bed as well. "Goodnight Pacey."

"Goodnight Joey."

* * *

Pacey woke up the next morning when the phone rang. As he groggily reached for the phone, he noticed that Joey had her arms wrapped around him. He moved slowly so not to wake her. "Hello." 

"Is Josephine Leery available please?"

Pacey was confused at first, who knew she was here. Then it dawned on him, Dawson. "I'm sorry, you must have the wrong number."

"Listen Pacey, it's Dawson, and I know she's there. Now let me talk to her."

"You're right Dawson, she is here, but she's sleeping. And even if she were awake, I doubt she would want to talk to you. But, I'll gladly take a message."

"No message. I'll call back." Dawson really didn't know what he would have said to her, but at least he knew for sure now where she was.

Pacey hung the phone up and pulled the covers back up around himself. He fell back asleep, thinking about everything that was unfolding before him.

When she heard the phone ring, Joey didn't move a muscle. She stayed attached to Pacey as he answered it. By the way his body seemed to tense up, she could tell, even before his name was said, that Dawson was the person on the other end. She really didn't feel like talking to him, so she was relieved that Pacey didn't try to wake her. Even after he laid back down, his body remained tense. It wasn't until he was asleep again that he seemed to relax a little bit. Was he worried about her? She waited until he was sound asleep before creeping out of bed. She didn't want to leave his warmth, but she had to get up and think. A lot of stuff had happened recently in her life.  
As she walked into the kitchen Joey noticed that it was almost 8:00. She put on a pot of coffee and decided to make an attempt at breakfast…her cooking skills had not improved over time. Scrounging through the cupboards and refrigerator, she found the makings for pancakes…the one thing she could make without much trouble.  
Joey set the table for Pacey and herself between flipping the pancakes. Once everything was done, she was surprised that Pacey wasn't up yet. The smell of coffee alone used to wake him up. Not wanting to eat without him, and too hungry to wait, she decided to go wake him up. Walking into the bedroom, she noticed that Pacey had barely moved since she'd left him. Joey crawled onto the bed and leaned over him and whispered in his ear, "Pacey."

Stirring ever so slightly, "Hmm…"

"Time to get up sleepy head."

"Give me a few more minutes."

"Fine, I'll just eat the pancakes by myself."

That caught his attention, "You made pancakes! I love your pancakes."

She knew that he truly did love her pancakes. "Then you'd better get out of bed if you want any."

Pacey sat up and hung his feet over the side of the bed. "Give me a minute and I'll be out."

"Sure thing. I'll save you a couple." She walked out of the room and sighed, the sight of his bare chest, especially after all these years of not being near him, made her heart skip a beat.

Pacey watched her stroll out of the bedroom. He thought about the way she had woken him up. How could he have been so stupid? It was the spontaneous, yet so predictable things like that that he'd been missing the past seven years. The morning air was a little chilly, so he pulled on his robe as he headed to the kitchen. He saw her patiently sitting at the table, waiting. She looked so beautiful. "What got you up so early Jo?"

"The phone woke me up. And I had some thinking to do."

A slight memory lapse made him ask, "Who called? I didn't…" Suddenly he remembered, "Oh, you heard me talking to Dawson, huh?"

"Yeah, I did. Thanks for not making me talk to him. I didn't think he'd call. I thought we said all that needed to be said."

"He said he'd call back, but didn't say when."

"That's fine. How'd you sleep last night?"

"Great, and yourself?"

"Like a baby. It was nice to have you to cuddle with."

For the time being he decided to bypass the conversation that could come from that single sentence. "What did you think about while you were out here making your wonderful pancakes?"

"The future and what lies ahead for u… me," she almost slipped up. That wouldn't have been the best thing for her to do right now.

Not quite sure that he wanted to hear this, "What do you see in store for yourself?"

"I'm hoping that the divorce goes through quickly. I don't want a lot, so that should help."

"Now Jo, don't cheat yourself, just because you want things to be over quick. Take everything you deserve."

"Don't worry Pacey, I've been thinking about this for a long time now. I'm going to get everything that I want and deserve." She grinned at him devilishly. Only she knew that she was talking not just about what she would get from the divorce. She was praying that she would also get the one thing, rather person, that she'd wanted since high school – Pacey.

"If you don't mind me asking, what is it that you're gonna fight for? The Joey I know has never been concerned with money."

"You're right Pacey, I'm not worried about the money. We have a house in Montana…one that Dawson never really wanted, accompanied by 20 acres of land. I also want my Wrangler, all of my clothes and personal possessions, and $10,000."

Pacey couldn't believe how little she wanted, yet compared to what she started with, it was a lot. "You two have really made it big, haven't you."

"We lived comfortably. But, all that money can change a person and make you lonely." She decided that she didn't want to hide her true feelings anymore. "You want to know what else Pacey. I haven't changed much since you left me high and dry seven years ago. I live somewhere different and have more money, but that's it. I really don't have what I want though. And without that, I'm not happy… and won't be."

"So do I dare ask what it is that you want, and can't live without?" Somehow he knew, or at least knew what he hoped, her answer was going to be. He could just sense it.

"I'll tell you what I want. Once, seven years ago, I thought I finally had everything I needed. Then suddenly, my entire way of life was changed. Now, I once again have within my reach what it is that I want." All of the sudden she couldn't tell him that what she wanted was him. "Happiness is what I want Pacey." Tears were welling up in Joey's eyes. She couldn't believe that she had chickened out. That really wasn't what she had wanted to say. She wanted to tell him that he's what she wants, but she just couldn't.

Pacey felt like crying himself. He had really wanted Joey to say that she wanted him. Once again, he'd gotten his hopes up. There was only one thing he could say, "Joey, I'm sorry, I really am, I never meant to cause you unhappiness. I'm glad that you're going to get everything you want. I'm glad that you'll be happy once the divorce is final." Pacey stood up and headed towards the bedroom. But first he stopped to look at Joey. She was sitting at the table sobbing; he hated to see her cry. He decided that he needed to leave the house, go somewhere to think about what he was feeling. Quickly he got dressed and scribbled a note to Joey that he left on the pillow. If he knew her like he once did, she'd crawl into bed and stay there all day.

_Jo-  
I went out for a while. Had a few errands to run.  
Be back later.  
Pacey  
_

Pacey remembered suddenly that the previous day was payday at the bar, so that's where he headed, slamming the front door behind him.

* * *

"Damn him," Joey muttered when she heard the door slam. Once again, he seemed to be running away rather than facing his problems and fears. She pushed herself away from the table and stood up, surveying the mess surrounding her. "I'll clean up later," she said out loud. She remembered that she had a new book in her suitcase that she'd been waiting to read. She went into the bedroom, planning to spend the better part of the day in bed reading. 

Joey dug through her suitcase and found the book. Still in her pajamas, she crawled under the cover on Pacey's bed. Opening the book, she began to read, only to shut the book as quickly as she'd opened it. Lying there in Pacey's bed, she realized that she could smell him. It was a scent she'd never forgotten. Joey snuggled down into the pillows in an effort to engulf herself in the familiar scent. All of the sudden, she found herself daydreaming. How would her life be different if Pacey had never left? She could picture it now… four great kids; a beautiful, modest home; happily married and an established artist able to work out of the house while raising her family.

Joey suddenly found herself remembering when Pacey left.

_Joey woke up and rolled over to look at Pacey. She loved to watch him sleep. However, she found herself to be alone. She sat up and looked around, hoping to see Pacey. Instead she spotted a yellow rose lying on her desk. She got out of bed and walked over to her desk where she found his evil note. She started to cry, and just couldn't stop._

_Joey awoke when the phone rang, and lunged for it, "Pacey!"_

"_Nope, it's Jen,"_

"_Oh," Joey felt the flood gates begin to open again._

"_Joey, are you alright? It's 6:30, and we're worried because you guys aren't here for dinner yet."_

_She looked at the clock, and realized that she must have at one point cried herself to sleep, "I'm not going to make dinner tonight Jen. I'm not up to it."_

"_What's wrong Joey?" She could tell that Joey was upset. Then, remembering how she'd answered the phone, "Joey, where's Pacey?"_

_All of the sudden, Joey burst out crying again, "He…he's…g, g, gone."_

"_What do you mean he's gone?"_

_Joey took a deep breath, "He left me," then burst into sobs._

"_I'll be right there Joey._

_Jen arrived about 15 minutes later, "Joey, let me in."_

_Joey pulled open the door and was immediately embraced in a hug._

"_Joey, tell me what happened."_

"_We stayed here last night, and when I woke up he was gone," noticing that Jen was going to make an argument in his defense, she continued, "I saw a yellow rose laying on my desk, and there was a note under it." She handed the note to Jen._

_Jen read it quickly, "That bastard. You'll be fine Jo. We'll get through this."_

_  
Joey had managed to subside her crying, "But I don't want to. I want him." She started to cry again._

_  
Jen took her into her arms, "I'm going to help you through this Jo. I promise."_

_Two weeks later, she hadn't gotten any better. Joey was still depressed. And Jen and Dawson were worried about her. When she wasn't crying, she was throwing up. Finally they forced her to go see a doctor. Jen had gone with her. He said that her depression was normally, especially given all of the circumstances. And in fact, so was her sickness._

_  
Joey looked at him in confusion, "How is puking normal in cases of depression?"_

_  
"Oh, it's not. But it is in the case of pregnancy. And that would also partially explain the constant crying. You're hormones are going through an extreme imbalance and are working overtime."_

_  
She looked at Jen, then back at the doctor, "Pregnant?"_

_  
"Yes Josephine."_

_  
She started to cry again. Jen put her arm around Joey and then looked at the doctor, "Thank you very much."_

_Joey of course told Dawson. Needless to say, he had been none too happy. But then they decided, or at least he decided and she just followed his lead that they should get married, and do so before she started to show._

Just then the phone rang and Joey was quickly brought back to reality. She didn't know if she should answer it or not. What the hell, maybe it's Pacey. "Hello. Witter residence," she said the last part just in case it was a friend who might think they had the wrong number.

"Joey?"

Damn, it's Dawson, "Yes, Dawson?"

"How are you?"

"Great actually," he never knew how to get to the point, "I feel very liberated."

"That's great Jo. I'm calling, because I wanted to tell you that I'll be back in LA in two weeks. If you're still there, that's fine. I know that that's earlier than you expected."

"Thanks, good-bye Dawson." She hung up the phone. She hoped that things with him would be finished with quickly so that she could begin to think about how to handle her current situation with Pacey.

Joey decided that she needed to talk to someone. She picked up the phone, dialed and let it ring, waiting for someone to answer.

"Hello?"

"Jen, is that you?"

"Joey, Ohmigod. How are things? Where are you? I thought you were going to be gone for a few weeks yet."

"Yeah, well plans change."

"You've cast the movie already?"

"No, but I'm heading home."

"Really. And Dawson agreed to that?"

"He didn't have a choice. I left him yesterday."

"I'm happy for you Jo. How's he taking it?"

"Surprisingly well actually."

"And Cody?"

"He doesn't know yet. He's at home."

"Where are you at?"

"I'm still in Kansas City. Actually, that's the real reason I called. Guess who I ran into?" Not giving Jen a chance to respond, "Pacey Witter."

"Really," Jen tried to act surprised, but she had known that he was there. She had been keeping secrets from both of her friends. "How is he?"

"He seems to be doing good. But Jen, I saw him and my heart melted. I still love him. And I think he feels the same way. I just don't know how to tell him about a certain 6-year-old secret."

That was the other thing she had wanted to tell Pacey earlier. But, she couldn't bare to tell him about Cody. Not yet anyway. She didn't want to him to feel obligated to help her, and their son. She'd managed all these years. It was hard though. He looked so much like Pacey did growing up. That was another reason why she had packed away all of the pictures of her past. Dawson had come to accept Cody as his own. They didn't need for Cody to start asking questions and digging up the past. She knew that he hated hearing her and Dawson fight but this would still be hard on him. He has no reason to believe that Dawson isn't his real dad. And he's going to find out as soon as he meets Pacey, which is only a matter of time now.

"Cody. You have to tell both of them. They deserve to know."

"But I don't want Cody to get hurt if Pacey's just going to run again. I also don't want his pity."

"Give him a chance Jo. He may surprise you. But, don't worry. The time will come to tell them both."

"Thanks Jen."

"No problem."

7


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7**  
**

After aimlessly driving around for a couple hours, he finally ended up at the bar…his original destination. It had been too early before. He knew that this was about the time that Mike arrived in the morning to begin preparations for the day. He walked through the door and sauntered up to the bar. Pacey sat on a barstool, fully prepared for the questioning that he was about to entail from his co-worker, and close friend.

Sure enough, no sooner had he sat down than Mike walked up to him, "Witter, my man, what brings you in at this time of day?"

"Actually, I just stopped by to pick up my paycheck," Pacey decided to pretend he didn't need to talk.

"You expect me to believe that line of crap? You never stop in just to pick up your check. You've left checks sitting here for a week before."

"Believe it or not, that's why I'm here. No ulterior motives." Why didn't Mike just cut to the chase? He knew his friend was just dying to hear about last night, and know why he wasn't still sleeping.

"Well, now that we've cleared that up, how was last night? I figured you'd still be sleeping, compensating for a restless night in bed."

"That's where you're wrong Mike, I didn't have a restless night, well, not physically anyway."

"What are you trying to tell me? You had a woman in your home – something I know for a fact doesn't happen very often – and you didn't take advantage of that?"

"Not this time Mike, not this girl."

"Wow, one night with this girl and you're completely mesmerized by her. I've never seen you like this before."

"I know, but I can't help how she makes me feel, and I can't describe it either. And actually, just to set the facts straight, I've spent the last three nights with her in my home."

"Three nights? Are you sure you're the same guy I've known all these years? Were you in an accident or something? You never spend three, especially consecutive, nights with the same girl, even if you have slept with her."

"You don't have to remind me. Although I really haven't been with that many women. It's just that Joey," damn. I said her name, "has this amazing power over me."

"Wait a minute, back up a second. The girl you've spent the last three nights with, her name is Joey?"

"Ummm… yeah."

"This wouldn't happen to be the Joey, from Boston, would it?"

"One in the same."

"Why didn't you tell me that from the beginning? That little bit of information completely changes how a person reacts and responds to the situation."

"I know, it's just that I hate to think of the power she now has over me, even after all these years."

"So, I have to ask. How'd you hook up with her?"

"It was completely by chance. I went to an audition, and there she was. She was the one conduction the auditions."

"Whatever happened between her and that guy, Dawson is it, who you thought would be better for her?

"That's the other ironic thing. They got married, but I guess the last few years have been rough, and she left him the day before yesterday."

"Really. That's good, right?"

"Yeah, don't get me wrong, I love the thought that I possibly have a second chance, but yet, I'm not sure that now is the time for that."

"But she's what you want, right?"

"Completely. I've never wanted anything more in my life. It's just that whenever I'm around her, this insecure part of me surfaces. I just hear this little voice in my head say 'she deserves better.' I fear that I'm just someone to pass the time until she can be with Dawson again."

"Yeah, but if that's true, explain one thing to me. Joey just left Dawson, right?"

"Right. Where are you going with this Mike?"

"Just hear me out. You've explained to me more times than I can count about your life in high school. Lets see if I can get this right. You had a thing for Joey, but she wanted Dawson, and he was oblivious. Then you had Andie and Joey & Dawson were finally together. Joey left Dawson, the first time, to be with Jack who ended up being gay. Joey and Dawson get back together. She leaves him, that's twice, because she didn't want to believe the truth about her father. She tries to get Dawson back, but he decides that it's not the right time, and he asks you to watch out for her. Joey comes to you with her problems, not Dawson. You two fall in love, but she can't hurt Dawson, and ends up choosing him over you. She knows that that's not what she wants, and comes back to you, leaving him for a third time. All of that happened in the course of two years. And she left Dawson three times, always unsure of what she wanted. Then, the two of you were together, despite Dawson's hate, for almost a year. Then you broke up with her. She was heartbroken. Then, that fall you were together again. The next year she spent with you, by choice. She gave herself to you. She was talking about forever, with you. Then all of the sudden, you left her, not the other way around. She felt secure with you, not like in her previous relationships with Dawson. Now she's left him again, and who is she finding comfort with, you. Don't you get it? She wants to be with you."

"Okay Mike. You have a point. It's just that I'm scared. I was always told that I was no good, and I worry that one day Joey will think the same."

"Dude, after 10 years, I'm guessing that's not going to happen."

"But what if I'm just someone to keep her mind off of everything that she's going through."

"Pacey, get over it. She wants to be with you. She must have more fears than you right now, and you have a lot going through your head. Go talk to her."

"Okay, I will. But I'm going to blame you if things don't work out."

"Yeah, fine, whatever. But, Pacey, I want to meet this woman."

2


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 

Pacey retuned to the house, feeling somewhat relieved. He walked through the front door, "Jo, are you here?" Not getting a response, he walked from room to room, looking for her, for a note, for anything. Then he found her, laying in his bed, the covers pulled up tight, her head resting peacefully on a pillow with a smile spread across her face. This time he couldn't sit there, waiting for her to wake up. Quietly he walked over to the bed, rested his hand on her shoulder and gently nudged her. "Jo, wake up."

Her grin got bigger, if that was possible, when she opened her eyes. "Pacey, you're back."

"Yeah, and we need to talk."

"Yes we do."

"Joey, again I have to say I'm sorry, about everything. I've been scared, and without reason."

"Oh Pacey, everyone has a reason to be scared. Do you want to know why I'm scared? For two years you were my safety, my security, my life. Then you left and everything changed. Dawson, as in the past, tried to make me feel secure, but something was missing. After a time, I realized that I could make myself feel secure with Dawson, after all, he had so much to offer me. I've gotten the chance to get comfortable with my life. But I wasn't happy. I've left all of that and I'm following my heart. While none of this was planned, I somehow ended up here, with you. And, I'm scared. Scared that no matter how much I want to be with you, you're going to leave me again. I love you so much, and I can't deal with the heartbreak again," she was now sobbing uncontrollably.

"Oh Jo," Pacey wrapped his arms around her, "I love you too. I never stopped loving you. I promise I will never leave you again. You're stuck with me now." He continued to hold her, and slowly rocked back and forth.

Joey truly felt safe, sitting there with Pacey's arms wrapped around her. She believed him when he said he would never leave her. Unfortunately, she knew that she would have to leave Kansas City tomorrow, to go back to LA. Not only did she need to get things in order, but also she hated leaving Cody home with the nanny for any longer than necessary. She couldn't expect Pacey to give up everything he had to follow her. But, she did want them to be together, and would fight to make it work.

Pacey couldn't believe it. Mike was right Joey truly does love him. She doesn't want what he once thought she needed. She wants and needs for someone to love her. He looked down at her. She was so beautiful. He gently brushed the hair off of her forehead. Then he brushed his lips across her soft skin.

Joey couldn't stand it. She had to kiss him. Her hand reached up, gently brushing his cheek, then her fingers trailed to his lips, they were so soft. She leaned in towards him, placing her lips on his.

Pacey knew that he shouldn't be doing this, letting Joey kiss him. But he had missed her sweet touch all these years. If he wasn't careful, this would become something much more than a kiss. But he couldn't help it. He wanted her so much. He opened his mouth slowly and his tongue met hers. Their tongues moved fiercely against each other's. His hands moved down her body, massaging her back. Her hands were also moving downwards. He soon discovered that she had never put on a bra that morning. He was quickly becoming aroused, and his pants were getting to be quite uncomfortable. Pacey slid one hand between their bodies. He slowly began fondling one of her breasts. Through her shirt he could feel her nipple hardening.

Joey slowly laid back on the bed, pulling Pacey down with her. This felt great. She wanted him so bad. Now that his body was resting on hers, she could feel him against her leg. Their tongues continued to explore each others mouths. Pacey's one hand remained on her breast caressing it gently. His other hand gingerly found its way between her shorts and panties. He massaged her gently and she felt surges flow through her entire body. She clumsily unbuttoned his jeans and slid down the zipper. Before going any further she quickly slipped her hands under his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. She then brought her hand back to his cock. Her mouth moved down his neck and rested on his chest.

Pacey removed his hands from Joey's body only long enough for her to remove his shirt. He had long since stopped thinking about what they were doing. He was doing what felt right. Her lips against his bare chest sent shivers through his body. He suddenly decided that her shirt too needed to come off.

As Pacey attempted to remove her shirt, Joey unwillingly separated from him. He removed her shirt and she pulled him off the bed. She slid his jeans down his legs and he kicked them to the side. Her mouth found his as she hastily removed her own shorts, and then panties while Pacey removed his boxers. Groping each other they fell back onto the bed. Joey desperately wanted to feel him inside of her. She whispered into his ear, "Pacey, I want you."

"I want you too Joey."

"My body aches for you Pacey."

Pacey reached for his nightstand and opened the drawer. He rummaged around until he found what he was looking for. He ripped open the package and Joey helped him roll on the condom. He lowered himself onto her. He entered her with great ease. Joey moaned softly. Slowly and rhythmically he slid himself in and out of her. She quickly matched his pace. Together, they gradually increased the pace.

They were both on the verge of explosion, and Joey couldn't hold it anymore. She began to moan loudly, almost screaming, as he continuously hit the right spot. When she reached orgasm, she quickened the pace, then hollered, vocalizing her satisfaction. At that moment, Pacey released his load as well. Their pace slowed greatly, and then it was over. Pacey slid out of her and rolled over onto the bed. He removed the condom and placed it in the garbage can next to the bed.

Joey cuddled next to him, lying her head on her stomach and rested her head and hand on his chest. "I love you Pacey."

"I love you too Jo."

Minutes later, despite the fact that it was only mid-afternoon, she was sound asleep. Pacey had never understood it. She had always fallen asleep, even if only for a very brief time, after having sex. This gave him time to think though. 'What have I done? She just left her husband. She's vulnerable.' He knew that he should have controlled himself better. This was only going to complicate things. Luckily he'd still had the pack of condoms in the drawer. The guys at the bar had given them to him as a gag gift for his last birthday. He had intended on tossing them, but for some unknown reason had tucked them away in the back of his nightstand instead. Joey getting pregnant was the last thing that they needed.

Joey woke up in Pacey's arms. She felt so good. Then it all came back to her. She had just had sex with Pacey. She was glad that he had thought about protection. They did not need a second illegitimate child, especially since he still doesn't know about the first one.

* * *

Pacey stepped out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. He paused in the doorway when he saw Joey leaning over her suitcase, shoving things into it. "Jo, what are you doing?"

"I'm packing."

"I can see that. But why now? Can't you wait until later?"

"But, I'm leaving tomorrow."

"I know, but you still have plenty of time."

"What made you change your mind? Wait, this is about earlier. I'm sorry about that Jo."

"Yes, this is about what happened," Joey paused. "Hold on. You're sorry. Do you regret having sex with me?"

"Jo, no, not at all. I'm just afraid that we moved too fast. I enjoyed everything about it. I told you Jo, I love you."

"I love you too Pacey. I wanted to have sex with you earlier, but if I pack, it reminds me that I have to leave. No matter how much I want to stay.

"I'll come with you."

"No Pacey. I have to go alone. The sooner I get things straightened out in my life, and with Dawson, the sooner we can be together again. This time forever."

"But what if all of this takes forever, and we can't be together?"

"Don't worry Pacey, we will be together again. I promise."

"As long as you promise."

"I do Pacey."

"Let's not think about this now. Get dressed. I want you to meet a friend of mine."

"Okay Pacey."

Later Pacey pulled into the bar's perking lot. Joey's eyes lit up, this was the place she'd been to a few nights before. But she didn't want to tell Pacey that. Pacey got out of the car and walked around to the passenger's side to let Joey out.

"You're such a gentleman Mr. Witter."

"Why thank you." They walked through the door and up to the bar. "Hey Mike. How's it going?"

"Great," he eyed Joey.

"Mike, this is Joey. Joey, Mike."

Mike looked from Joey to Pacey and smiled, "Yes, I believe we've met."

"You have?" Pacey was confused. He looked at Joey for an answer.

"Um, yeah Pacey. I met Mike the other night, when I was drunk. He's a great listener."

Mike smiled again, "So, this is the ex-boyfriend that you still love?"

She laughed and smiled happily at Pacey, "Yes."

"Well, I guess you were right Mike. She does still love me." Pacey smiled and gently kissed Joey.

3


End file.
